a wildfire begins

The thought of starting a fire you cannot control drops fear into your bones.
it crawls up your spine and swings itself into the main room.
Before you can say it,
A wildfire has begun.

although you never asked for it, you gave it permission. the green light to simmer.
on nights of cold, the heat from a fire you cannot control became a safe spot.
a familiar feeling.
but there was nothing familiar about it.
an intensity.
an ache.
a knowing.
somehow the fire had already set pace. before you offered a lighter.

we do that,
start fires, not knowing where they will go.
wonder why we get burnt.

some burns are minor and we can deal with them.
some leave an imprint, a mark to remember.
but then there are some we can't explain.

when a fire controls you
who is in control?
where is the hold?

you are reminded that this is how it should be.
we start fires, not knowing where they will go.
Then attempt to measure them with the known.  

but

time loses its tracks when a wildfire begins.  

that same fire can light up a sky full of stars,
burn down doors
or
illuminate shadows.

Pay attention to who or what
lights a fire in you.
does it energize?
or
does it drain?

Note: it is not always obvious.